Friday, August 8, 2008

5 Tips to Kick Inflation's Backside

Unless you've been living in a cave these past few months you would have noticed that the price of stuff has gone up. By stuff I mean, oh well, petrol, bread, know the stuff we can't live without. So I thought why not come out with a list of cost-saving tips. This list is by no means exhaustive but but hey, these are the things that's echoing inside my head...eheheh...echoing inside my head!

1. Be creative with your tax returns. I am not advocating not paying your taxes, gosh that would be wrong. As a loyal and patriotic Malaysian I pay my taxes but sometimes you may feel a liiiiiitle need to be a fiction writer and so in these inflationary times why not write fiction in your tax forms. You are only limited by your creativity. You can't escape paying taxes anymore than avoiding death but a little civil disobedience will go a long way in helping out with the finances.

2. Lunch can be an expensive affair nowadays. So if you are going out with a bunch of colleagues to a kopitiam , make sure that you only have RM100 bills with you. When you have to pay for your Char Kuey Teow, hand your RM100 bill to the CKT man and watch him reject it. "Boss, sorry no change lah?" Don't worry, the sucker next to you will volunteer to pay for you. Hint : repeat when your drinks arrive.

3. This next tip is one I personally live by. Tip No. 1 & 2 above are just suggestions....I've never ever ever ever done it but I put them there 'cos it's all about sharing. Putting vanity aside, everyone should just go bald or botak as it is better known here in the local circles. It makes plenty sense if you think about it. With a botak hairdo, you only need to go to the barbers once every 3-4 months as opposed to those with normal hair. They go once a month at least. Think about the savings. Applies to the ladies too. I like it!!

4. Wifi. This word is synonymous with the internet age. If you are young & savvy, you've got to be online but since you are young, you are most probably broke too. You can't be hanging out at Starbucks too often for it's 'free' wifi since you are broke remember? So what do you do? Well sometimes you may have an unsuspecting and not so techno-savvy neighbour with a wireless home connection. If your consicence is clear then you are just tumpang-ing lah.

5. Get rid of that mistress/girlfriend/boyfriend/sheep or whatever. If you don't really want that bitch or that he-bitch (well you can still keep the sheep as a pet), you've to get rid of him or her. They may look nice around your arms but they're costing way too much, times are bad and its high time you go back to being a wanker.

There you have it, my 5 tips to kick Inflation's backside. And oh, if your daddy or granddaddy has set up a trust fund for you (you know who you are), what the hell are you reading this for? You don't need these tips. Do something positive like paying your taxes.


1 comment:

amal said...

I like that 5 tips...

But FYI, not everyone looks good with Shaolin hairstyle so I think I still have to have my head masaage by the Indian barber (as in contrast to the more subtle and loving care from China lenglui)....... once every month.

I think I look to cutting coupons and buying things at the cheap sales and retails that gives high discount.....

Buy books that promotes Buy 2 for the price of 1 and yes, borrow the discount card from friend. Do not subscribe personally. Be cheap skate.

I also try to only order hot water as I bring along my 3 in 1 with me everywhere I go.....

I will be the next crusader aka cheapskater..... he he he he